posting a selfie like
when people you dont like start hitting on you
You know what? I don’t even care if this is a joke. I don’t care about all the Stacy’s Mom Dave Strider covers in the world. Look at this girl. Look at this sixteen year old girl who has had her affections crushed, who has been called fat and other assorted horrible names by an immature alien, who has put up with Jake English whining about his relationship issues for SIX MONTHS and didn’t say a goddamn thing about how much it hurt her until she snapped, who was reduced to no words when Dirk told her he had been mistaken when he’d made her the leader, who is positive her father is dead, and who is currently possessed by an evil troll empress against her will. Now look at this girl that was the first human female to wear pants in-comic, that enjoys masculine things without sacrificing her love for baking or girly sleepovers, that isn’t ashamed to be a total cutie of a nerd, that never diminished her friendship with Dirk even if they were both crushing on Jake, who never held it against them even though she is often portrayed as the jealous exgirlfriend. Look at this girl that can swing around a giant fucking fork/trident with ease like a complete and total badass and still turn around and use “shucks buster” unironically. Jane Crocker deserves to be called hot. Jane Crocker deserves to blush. Jane Crocker deserves Channing Tatum in a well tailored suit on a bed of roses who will tell her she’s beautiful no matter what and that she is the smartest, sweetest, most down to earth girl he’s ever met. And I am so glad that even for one panel that really amounts to nothing more than a joke, she’s potentially flustered, cute, happy, whatever you wanna call it even if it’s shown through a very Dave-like way and while she’s still possessed. She deserves to have affection shown towards her because when you think about it he is the first person to ever tell her she’s hot, that she is actually attractive, even if his only knowledge of her amounts to “John’s hot mom.” Jane Crocker deserves to be called hot and so much more. And if Dave Strider will write sonnets of weird obtuse metaphors about her hotness while she chuckles along and occasionally blushes then hell fucking yeah I ship it.
THIS IS THE MOST POWERFUL VINE
send this to all the straight boys in your life
Fucking beautiful .
Animals that are unbelievably awesome.
tHERES A SKELETON INSIDE MY BODY RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD
I love the smell of citrus in the morning.
I have wanted to see this for such a long time, it’s beautiful.
Somewhere in the world, Cave Johnson is punching the air
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M THE GUY WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"
BOND is a tiny touch module. It can be a pendant or a bracelet but it comes in pairs. You keep one and you give one to a friend. When you touch it, your friend feels it. No matter where they are on the planet. We don’t do tweets, we do tickles.
we need this
gonna put it on my dick
THAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE SIR
This is actually so cool because some people wear bracelets and necklaces and things as comfort items. I used to wear a necklace from my grandma to remind me of her and I would touch the pendant on it when I was feeling down or stressed. So imagine (if she were still alive), every time I did that she would know I was thinking of her, drawing strength from her.
And then imagine poking it and the other person feels it and pokes back and you end up in a real life facebook poke war.
I would send messages in morse code
magine you and your best friend have one. When the friend dies, he/she is buried with the bracelet. A couple weeks later, you feel someone touch your wrist.
Well this escalated from cool tech to perverted hilarity to something heartfelt then finally something out a creepypasta
don’t hurt BEES. they just want to pollinate flowers and make honey. hurt WASP’s. fuck them and their old money, big mansions, and country clubs
*turns off gender to conserve energy*